“When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.” -Roy E. Disney
We all want things in life to come easy. We want to easily make money. We want to lose weight easily. We want things to go our way and not have to overcome obstacles, but that’s just not how the world works. The world will challenge us. I think that when achieving something comes with a struggle I value the accomplishment more.
“When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.” -Roy E. Disney. Isn’t that so true..what if in a perfect world we all made decisions based upon good core values? I’d be scared to say that things would be different. People would treat each other better and our lives in general would grow in a positive direction.
In a serious relationship, like marriage, you should, actually we must agree upon four areas. The critical relationship areas are family, money, children and religion. We must have share the same values for our family, money, children and religion. So what are you values? I heard something from a wise man that stuck with me. He said he wants to be faithful, fruitful and finish well. I want to to be faithful, fruitful, and finish well with my family, money, children and religion. How about you?
Family.
Family is important. How do your mate’s siblings treat each other? How do your in-laws care for each other? As the old saying goes, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. If you do not like the family and they do not like you then run or fight. If you are going to fight you are going to have to fight with tap dancing shoes on.
Tread lightly! Maybe you can win them over by taking the in-laws on a date, treating them to dinner and a movie. or why not become a servant son-in-law or servant brother-in-law, putting others’ needs before your needs. Whatever you decide to do you have to be on the same value’s page when it comes to family. if not you will fall off the relationship wheel very quickly and violently. You may even get run over by the train, so look out. Family relationships take work. In order for us to finish well in a family, we must faithfully put in the effort to grow fruit. Fruit does not grow with out water, sunshine and good soil. So be the water, sunshine and good soil.
Money.
Money, money, money……….. This is one of the number ONE reasons why couples fight and eventually break up. It does not have to be, but you have to throw ME, MYSELF, and I out of the airplane. There is no roof for them where you are going. You are going to the Debt Free and Wealth Building Island and the only way to get there is as a team. ME, MYSELF, and I without a shadow of doubt must be replaced with WE and US and OUR. This goes both ways, but let’s say one spouse does not want to get board. There is where you must do something that very few people do, but the successful ones do really well. They are patient and persistent. They never give up on the end. They finish well with faithful persistence. They continue moving towards a team effort on finances no matter happens with their spouse.
Children.
Dare I say children. When my wife and I were first talking about having kids, she wanted to have four kids and I wanted two kids. We knew we wanted to finish well with our children and raise them up to be faithful and fruitful God loving, productive people. Once we had one child we knew we were only going to have two. It was very clear that two would give us a run for our money. We are so grateful that we have been blessed by two amazing children. A conversation about children that we had before we had kids that is worth mentioning is the discussion about what we want to do if we can’t have kids. It is a conversation worth having even though it is a tough one. It is always beneficial to talk about it rather than just live through it. Can we always talk about everything before it happens, no, but we can try to think and discuss our future.
Religion.
There some things that can make it really challenging in a relationship and differences in religion is one of them. Imagine if you believe two different things and you go to separate worship services on Sundays or one of you goes on Saturday and the other goes on Sunday. In a relationship, we need connection and connection is built upon closeness. Closeness is the time spent together.
I have learned over the years that my wife and don’t do as well. If we don’t come to the table ready to listen. There are three words I think we should reflect on…Communicate, Connect, Cooperate.
“We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.” -Eleanor Roosevelt