“The best way to keep relationships happy, healthy, and supportive can be summed up in one word: appreciation. What you appreciate, appreciates. When we demonstrate our appreciation for the support we receive from others, it reinforces that behavior and deepens our connection to them.“
– Marci Shimoff
1. Prioritize Financial Time: This means scheduling money meetings, debt dates, whatever you want to call them to talk about your finances. It can be a time to grow closer and build a healthy relationship with your significant other and your money. Turn off the TV. Get off your phone. If you’re not in a relationship it’s a time reflect about your own finances.
2. Know yourself and why you do what you do: Do you know your internal motivations? Learn more about yourself take the free Enneagram Quiz from Ecclectic Enneagram (https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/dotest)
Learning about yourself and your significant other will help you grow the bond in your relationship. We are either growing or we are dying, be present with your money.
3. Remember why finances matter: Money isn’t everything, but it does matter. It is a way to receive a service or product from someone or something. Money is a tool that can provide options. If you don’t like your 9-5 job and you want to quit then you need enough money saved to survive.
4. Create and foster a financial connection: Connection is essential and a great way to create a financial connection is to communicate. Like the quote at the beginning, we have to appreciate and support the other person’s view of finances. It’s true more often than not, that opposites attract, so one will usually be a saver and one a spender.
5. Intentionally improve money decisions: This can be done by using only cash for purchases. It is a lot harder to give someone a crisp, hard $100 bill then to “Swipe to place your order” on Amazon.
6. Let it go, be willing to forgive: We all make money mistakes, some big some small. Like in the movie Frozen, “Let it go!” Healthy relationships cannot harbor anger and resentment. Easier said than done right? I bought a brand new pair shoes. We can’t go backwards look at the bright side maybe we can return them, clean out the closet of old shoes and then donate them for a tax write off if you itemize.
7. Create a trigger reset: When shooting a Glock handgun you pull the trigger then hold it back as you follow through. As you start to let the trigger go back to the starting position it clicks (audibly and physically). If you stop at the click then it make the next trigger pull easier. A financial trigger reset could be a walk, a run, tactical breathing, find your financial trigger reset, but try to keep it healthy.
8. Have an attitude of gratitude: This one is so important. This one is so important. Being grateful for what money you do have will make you appreciate it more. And thus make you manage that money more like a captain of a ship than a passenger on the ship.
9. Honesty is the best policy: Be honest with yourself about what you want in your financial future? What you like to spend money on? What debts you have? What can you realistically do with the income you have? Point taken!
10. Mind your financial appearance: Appearance is defined as an act of performing or participating in a public event. Track your finances—put it on paper, write it in the iPhone notes pad, use a financial app like Mint. Putting things down on paper or notes makes it public to the family therefore increasing accountability.
11. Separate emotions from finances: As Warren Buffet says, “We simply attempt to be fearful when others are greedy and to be greedy only when others are fearful.” Unfortunately, spending money causes us to feel good, but it for a short time and it’s detrimental to our financial future. Be aware when you are spending emotionally and be abnormal.
12. Every penny counts: Compound interest is amazing. A penny that doubles every day will turn to over 5 million dollars in 30 days. So yes one penny does count, know your numbers down to the penny.
13. Practice sharing: Sharing is caring. Sharing not only benefits others, it benefits you. Share and give, and you will “get” more.
14. Revisit financial courtship: Actually care about your finances; grow that relationship between you and your money. If you start paying it (finances) a little more attention than it will start to pay more attention to you.
15. Be aware of your money: Look closely at you money situation, your debt, your assets, and your savings. Create a picture of your money.
16. Recognize each other’s financial goals: Go write them down, or record them, but please set goals. Goals get you ‘going’ towards something.
17. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate: Enough said. Communication back and forth between you and your significant other will improve your finances.
18. Do financial checkups: Once a week, or at minimum once a month look at your financial goals and current financial situation.
19. Look at the big financial picture: The big financial picture is if you are debt free you have options and you have control of your money and your life.
20. Create a financial plan (Together): Simply start by writing down some goals with a specific date and time to meet those goals. https://www.investor.gov/free-financial-planning-tools
“Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” -Henry Ford